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Shellie Enteen's avatar

A truthful and encouraging post. And a challenge, too. This morning I saw a post by a man who presents himself as a purveyor of arance wisdom and truth about the Divine Masculine in relationship, but I see those and the images that accompany them as intentional seduction. Women in comments swoon. And of course they are only swooning for a person who may not even be who he says he is (Facebook, after all). This morning's post suggested a man loves a woman because of how he feels when he is with her. That's a bit one-dimensional and the onus is on the woman to keep him feeling good. Divine Masculine, not so much. 😅Well, I grew up watching those black and white romance films on TV. All the happy endings. None of the process of life. What do you think would encourage a man to see the whole person in relationship with a woman?

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Camilla Sanderson's avatar

Hi Shellie, perhaps it's not about "encouraging a man to see the whole person in relationship with a woman."...

Perhaps it's more about women cultivating the courage to be ALL of who we were born to be. 'Your full, soulful, wild, mysterious self.'🥰 And when we have the courage to show up as all of who we are, with all our gifts and all of our challenges, and we know, love and accept ALL of ourselves, perhaps when we don't *need* this love, acceptance, validation from a partner, that's the point at which we're able to receive the right mirroring back from our partner? I don't know. I don't have all the answers, but I do enjoy exploring the questions in depth😁♥️🙏🕊️

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Julie Schmidt's avatar

Camilla, I love, love this. And I agree, agree! The mad world that we see now does not end using the same methods that created it. The Divine Feminine is rising. Not a top down take over. But as a roar of love. A roar of authenticity. A roar of that comes through remembrance and seeing our interconnectiveness with everything. No it's not a top down take over, its a dismantling of the very foundation that keeps patriarchy alive. And this is not only for women - men need this too. Actually this is not gender specific, for we all have the yin and the yang within us.

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Camilla Sanderson's avatar

YES!!! "The Divine Feminine is rising. Not a top down take over. But as a roar of love. A roar of authenticity. A roar of that comes through remembrance and seeing our interconnectiveness with everything. No it's not a top down take over, its a dismantling of the very foundation that keeps patriarchy alive. And this is not only for women - men need this too. Actually this is not gender specific, for we all have the yin and the yang within us." My co-journeyer in the reclaiming of the Divine Feminine!

It's fun that we're so aligned Julie, in this vision of the Heroic Journey of Reclaiming the Divine Feminine♥️🙏🕊️

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Julie Schmidt's avatar

Agree!!! 💜

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

"So many women no longer want to be the “best” according to some out-of-date patriarchal definition. They want to be real. To be authentic."

That desire to be real and authentic is a driving force for good in our culture. For me, the pressure to be the best was a call that came from inside the house. My husband and I entered our marriage as two deeply flawed beings. We decided early on that marriage was a spiritual path to know one another deeply, to encourage and support each other's unfolding, and it was not a place to prove ourselves, but rather reveal ourselves.

Patriarchy and Matriarchy can be a similar marriage -- one of learning how to better allow and witness each other while learning to take delight in the growth that comes from self-knowledge. I'm still a flawed human being, very imperfect. But, in this grand third chapter, I accept those flaws and cherish the character and nuance they've contributed to my life.

A beautiful and provocative piece, Camilla. Biggest of hugs dear woman.

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Camilla Sanderson's avatar

"We decided early on that marriage was a spiritual path to know one another deeply, to encourage and support each other's unfolding, and it was not a place to prove ourselves, but rather reveal ourselves. Patriarchy and Matriarchy can be a similar marriage -- one of learning how to better allow and witness each other while learning to take delight in the growth that comes from self-knowledge." This is beautiful Stephanie, and I'm 100% in alignment.

Thanks for your kind and generous words and sending hugs back to you too♥️🙏🕊️

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Marisol Muñoz-Kiehne's avatar

Her revolution,

their conscious love uprising.

Our evolution.

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Camilla Sanderson's avatar

YES! I love the homeopathic essence in your haikus, Marisol♥️🙏🕊️

And you've inspired me to create one too:

Unhook from perfect—

the Divine Feminine stirs,

love sees the whole self😁🥰

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Michael Edward's avatar

Wonderful piece, Camilla. Just recently I’ve found myself loving Evie for the strangest little quirks, which for some, might be looked at as “less than perfect” but for me, I just find absolutely amazing. There is something I find very satisfying about being able to appreciate her little quirks and also in knowing that she loves me for my (often big) quirks as well. Accepting each other in all our messy glory is deeply gratifying. And I just love the way you conveyed that here. :)

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Camilla Sanderson's avatar

The world is a better place with you (and Chicken😉) in it Michael♥️🙏🕊️

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Michael Edward's avatar

Thank you Camilla! We feel the same about you! :)

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Evelyn Fox's avatar

In my current relationship I have been my most authentic messy, silly, serious, complex self. I have been shown that love is creating safety for the other person to show you their 'worst' bits and keeping on loving them anyway.

It certainly hasn't always been this way for me. I have caused myself more pain than I can express by trying to be the perfect girlfriend, the most beautiful/useful/interesting for men that didn't see me at all.

I rejoice in the discourse of women not seeing their value through the prism of hetro relationships. The turning towards other women. My female friends are unequivocally my biggest champions and so kind.

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Camilla Sanderson's avatar

Hi Evelyn aka Chicken😁Thanks for reading and commenting, and a friend just shared this poem with me this morning that you may enjoy too:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJkgKHbsmV0/?igsh=ZmNmeTgycGh3bWFm (this is a link to Alicia Keys reading it)

The Time of the Awakened Woman

There comes a time in the life of a woman

When she discards her old ways like tossed shoes in the garbage

When she shreds her list of “shoulds” and obligations

And when impossible expectations are burned in an incinerator

There comes a time in the life of a woman

When the approval of others once jewels now turn to pennies in her sock

When the hunt for another is now replaced by a hunt for herself

And when parental tentacles of tradition no longer define her truth

There comes a time in the life of a woman

When her desire to fit in with the crowd dissolves

When her manic compulsion to be perfect vaporizes

And when her obsession to be voted popular eviscerates

There comes a time in the life of a woman

When she simply says “no more”

When facade, artifice, and guile leave her nauseated

And when righteousness, dogma, and superiority repulse her

There comes a time in the life of a woman

When she no longer fears conflict but faces it boldly like a lioness

When she guards her authenticity as fearlessly as she guards her babies

And when she drops the role of savior knowing she can only save herself

There comes a time in the life of a woman

When she no longer cowers in the shadows of her unworthiness

When she no longer plays small so others can feel big

And when she swaps the role of victim for the role of cocreator

There comes a time in the life of a woman

When she unabashedly and boldly occupies her ultimate sovereignty

When she finally feels ready to claim her space in the world

And when she redefines compassion as unequivocal self-love

There comes a time in the life of a woman

When she finally releases her childlike dependencies on others

When she dares to rewrite a new mandate of living for herself

One that says:

I release unworthiness and fear

I divorce servility and passivity

I divest inauthenticity and enmeshment

I end the pretense of being someone I am not

And from now on I declare . . .

I will ascend into my highest power

I will embrace my greatest autonomy

I will celebrate my deepest worth

I will embody my fiercest courage and manifest the most authentic me

The time is now

I am ready

To awaken into my renaissance.

Tsabary, Dr. Shefali (2021). A Radical Awakening: Turn Pain into Power, Embrace Your Truth, Live Free (Function). Kindle Edition.

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Holly Starley's avatar

Great piece, Camille. It’s interesting to contemplate the shift you’re describing as a woman who has been single for quite a long time now, more than a decade. And part of it is because I want authenticity, I’ve no desire to be “perfect.”

I’ll say this. It heartens be a great deal to think of this change being made in any paradigm, couple good includes.

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Camilla Sanderson's avatar

Hi Holly, thanks for your kind words.

Congrats on having the courage to not conform to societal expectations of being in a partnership. One of my three sisters is in the same boat, and funnily enough, she moved to an Australia country town called Bulahdelah, where, after she moved there, she was told there are many single women in their 50s and older who have no desire to be in a partnership. Maybe it's a movement😁

You may also enjoy the poem I just copied and pasted into the comment responding to Evelyn♥️🙏🕊️

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Holly Starley's avatar

Oh that’s intriguing. Do you mean specifically in that town there are many single women in their 50s? What a lovely place that must be. ;)

And thank you! I’ll check out the poem.

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