Chapter 7. Sadhana, New Hampshire, October 2012

Jan 6, 2023

Hello Beloved Reader,

Right now I’m feeling called to share with you this serialized chapter 7 from my yet-to-be traditionally published book, The Rising of the Divine Feminine and the Buddhist Monks Across the Road: A Memoir.

Chapter 7 below is from Part One of the book where I play with time by braiding two narrative threads: Jamie’s journey through cancer and my journey through interfaith seminary.

Enjoy!

April 2023 UPDATE: In October 2022, when I first began releasing serialized chapters of The Rising of the Divine Feminine and the Buddhist Monks Across the Road: A Memoir by Camilla Sanderson (yours truly), chapters were free to all subscribers. However, chapters are now released and available to read for free for one month after publication, after which they move behind the paywall (with some exceptions.)

If you like what you’re reading and want to start from the beginning, I urge you to buy a subscription to keep reading.

I also provide other free content here.

To read a description of the book, please read the bottom of the post: An Invitation. You may also visit the Table of Contents.

Copyright © 2023 by Camilla Sanderson
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or reprinted without the author’s written permission.

Chapter 7. Sadhana, New Hampshire, October 2012

“All of us, together, are embarking upon a sacred journey! Aren’t you excited?” Rev. Stephanie says, her eyes wide and round. She sits on a black zafu on the wood paneled floor, leaning into her back-jack. Her shoulders are straight and pulled back. A smile beams out of her as she turns to each of us sitting with her in circle, at the Tree of Life Interfaith Temple. 

She leans slightly forward. “And each month, when we gather, we’ll be practicing our Principles for Holding a Circle.” If she had been standing, I imagine she would be dancing around the room. 

“First of all, there is one element of this program that is so essential, I cannot emphasize it enough. I want you to understand how I am seriously underscoring that this is of the absolute, utmost importance.” 

Whispering in a hushed yet excited tone she continues, “Are you understanding that what I am about to tell you is deeply important and meaningful?” Her broad smile again lights up her face. 

“But seriously, please pay attention here. A daily spiritual practice, which the Sikh faith tradition calls a sadhana, is the most important element of any seminary program. It’s the most important element of any spiritual journey, really. 

“By committing to your own sadhana you will excavate gifts from deep within yourself you didn’t even know existed. You’ll also cultivate the connection with your own inner divinity, and with your own inner authority. This connection is the essence of interfaith. 

“By committing to a daily spiritual practice you’re creating a crucible for transformation and healing.” It’s as though her enthusiasm about the value and importance of committing to a daily spiritual practice for the two-year duration of the program, infuses my blood with joy. Perhaps my soul can sense the gift I am about to give to myself. 

Rev. Stephanie invites each of us to create our own unique sadhana. She says that we can read the relevant coursework and consider this further at home. I’ve been meditating, on and off, since the age of seventeen when I took a class in transcendental meditation. But my practice isn’t regular. Rev. Stephanie is looking for more commitment and structure. I’m ready. 

She encourages us to contemplate the purpose of a sadhana. It’s different for each of us—again a gift of interfaith. We all excavate what is right for ourselves, which is not going to be the same for everyone. For me, a spiritual practice is like a prism with multiple facets each representing a different purpose. One facet is to cultivate an inner peace; to feel content and embody a sense of equanimity. Another is to clear blocks and obstacles in my being so that Divine love, light, and laughter can shine through me, allowing light to penetrate my unconsciousness and to en-lighten the darkest shadows within me. 

This is not to say I won’t feel anger, pain, hate, jealousy, greed, vengeance; and all of the emotions we often label as “negative,” and all of which are part of being human. But my intention with my sadhana, is to also create a space where I can investigate these human emotions and feel them in their entirety; where I can get friendly with these “negative” emotions and feel them without shame or guilt. 

What I will learn, over time, is that by doing this, and by not clinging to any emotion that arises, it transforms. By simply feeling my anger—not acting on it—it transforms into strength. By simply feeling any hatred that may arise, not acting on it, it transforms into power—and as the venerable Vietnamese Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hahn advises: the one true use for power is to alleviate suffering in ourselves and in others.

For others in our circle the purpose of sadhana is varied: to feel more open and flexible; to get past sorrow or resentment; to create space to heal. Rev. Stephanie encourages us to discover what will serve our own unique journey. She asks us to listen to our intuitive inner knowing. 

Each time in our circle when Rev. Stephanie supports us in connecting with our inner knowing, I sense a softening… an illumination of eyes with a warm inner glow. As each of us feel moved, our bodies respond: a hand held over a heart, a folding of hands in the Anjali mudra, a bow of a head. It’s as though we’re gaining an understanding of what has been missing in religions for so long: an honoring of each person’s connection with their own inner divinity and authority. 

For the past four thousand years—since white males have controlled the narrative with stories that claimed their truth, but simultaneously condemned women with stories of Adam and Eve, Cassandra, Pandora’s Box, and the list goes on—our cultures have been dominated by patriarchal hierarchies inherent in our systems of religion, education, medicine, law, finance, politics, etc. And these systems have demanded we surrender our authority to an outside patriarchal figure. These days, as people all over the world—and women in particular—re-connect with their own inner authority and divinity, I cannot help but think that we are ushering in a new era of the Rising of the Divine Feminine—an era that honors the divine feminine in both women and men.

Part of our course requirements in seminary include keeping a Spiritual Practice Journal to record our daily sadhana. These journals will be collected at the end of each year when we go on retreat, for a brief review to confirm we committed to our practice. This will be in addition to our monthly assignments that Rev. Stephanie will read in full. Over the two years we will each write multiple pages in response to the incisive and penetrating questions she asks in the coursework. And to each of our assignments, Rev. Stephanie will personally respond with supportive and encouraging reflections. 

Her background as a therapist, a psychology professor, a yoga teacher; her study with local Sikhs, native American Indians, Judaism and Hebrew teachers, shamans, Sufis, Hindus, and Buddhists; and being ordained an interfaith minister through The New Seminary in New York City, have all informed her curriculum. 

She also invites each of us to meet with her one-on-one, after we’ve read the relevant pages in our coursework, in case we may have any further questions, or feel that we may need any further guidance in creating our own sadhana. As soon as she offers this invitation, I know I’ll take her up on it. Spending time with her feels like following the deepest impulse of my soul. 

Click to read chapter 8.