Wednesday July 26, 2023. Back home at TreeTops, our decades-old log cabin in Temple, New Hampshire.
Good morning beloved reader,
I want to share with you that I’m experimenting with working with a Substack coach and she’s helping me to build community here.
To begin with, she’s helped me to gain clarity with my intention for these Substack posts: I love to share spiritual principles, so that you, my beloved reader, are encouraged and supported to claim your own inner-authority and sovereignty, and you feel empowered to transform adversity into spiritual growth which may lead to cessation of suffering.
Having said the above, you could call my motivation entirely selfish, and that I’m teaching what I most need to learn. And there’s truth in that. But it’s also true that by doing the inner work to relieve my own suffering first, all of my loved ones and the communities in which I participate, all benefit too.
It’s a win-win.
Even though, or perhaps it’s because I went through interfaith seminary — religion matters less to me than the spiritual principles and perennial wisdom found in every faith tradition.
The idea of “interfaith” was not in my conscious awareness before 2012, but The New Seminary (the first interfaith seminary in the world) was established in New York City by a Jewish rabbi, an Indian guru, a Catholic priest, and other interfaith luminaries, in 1981.
Also, having been born a woman this lifetime — and as I describe on my About page — I’m particularly interested in this question: How does a woman, in a patriarchal culture, claim her own spirituality in the world?
And I’m feeling called to share with you what I recently learned in line with this question, from one of the senior Thai Forest Buddhist monks from the monastery across the road.
My darling husband (and 30+ year partner-in-life) Jamie and I have recently been participating in a Buddhist sutta study group. We learned from our neighboring monks that in the Thai Forest/Theravadin tradition, their sacred texts are called the Pali Canon which consists of approximately 40 or so volumes, and the sections or stories within are referred to as suttas.
In the past couple of sutta gatherings at one friend’s lovely outside screened-in porch with lush green surrounding landscape and a view out to Mount Monadnock, we’ve been studying the Bahiya sutta (pronounced bah-hee-ya soo-tah) and we invited one of the senior monks to come and discuss it with us. At some point in the conversation the topic of enlightenment arose (also known as ‘awakening’ or ‘liberation,’ or perhaps similar to what Jesus called ‘salvation’) and I asked,
“This may be controversial and provocative to some, which as you know are topics I enjoy, but I’m interested in hearing if you think women may experience enlightenment in a different way to men?”
This particular monk — bald and dressed in saffron-colored robes as they all are — is senior and very practiced and, as with many of the senior monks, his physical presence seems to emit a very calm and gentle energy, which I so appreciate and enjoy.
In the past, with other more junior monks, I’d broached a more general topic of the difference between the male and female experience of Buddhism, and I had not received an answer that addressed my concerns. But this time, this senior monk, while sitting on his chair in a lotus position, said something along the lines of, “Yes, I can see that women may have different experiences than men, and growing up in a patriarchal society may present women with obstacles that are not presented to men.” I nodded in agreement and he continued.
“But don’t get hung up on the obstacles.”
It was one of those ‘aha’ moments for me and I expressed my gratitude.
Yes, it’s true that women’s voices and the divine feminine have been repressed and suppressed for the past 4,000 years, and that we will have experiences that will be different from the white male experience that the patriarchy was created to benefit. But it’s also true that we’re living in an era of the Rising and Re-Claiming of the Divine Feminine — I’ve been told by several friends that even the new Barbie movie reflects this to an extent!
And so my practice now is to observe what obstacles may be arising within me that may be blocking my inner peace and equanimity, and to investigate my attitude to those obstacles. Am I clinging to this obstacle? Is it stopping me from experiencing inner peace and equanimity? Can I be aware of it while simultaneously letting it go?
And so, my dear reader, I invite you to consider and reflect upon if you may be hung up on any obstacles? And what may happen if you change your attitude? I’d love to hear about your experience too.
~
Of course I also find benefit from sitting in sadhana which, like the keel of a boat, brings me back to center after I’ve been blown over in the wind. But I’ve also learned that the trick is to bring the awareness I experience while meditating, into every moment in my life.
It’s also interesting to me how when challenges or crises arise in my life, it’s often only in reflection that I can identify the obstacles, and even feel gratitude for the whole event. I write about this in Chapter 18 in Part One of The Rising of the Divine Feminine and the Buddhist Monks Across the Road: A Memoir, and how I experienced a kind of Flow.
I wonder if it’s possible to feel gratitude for the challenges as they unfold, as I know that’s where I grow.
Pema Chodron, the beloved American Tibetan-Buddhist nun, discusses this phenomenon:
Comfort Zone
Challenge/Learning Zone
High Risk ZoneThe high risk zone simply means you are not ready for it yet. Learning does not happen because it’s too much for you at this point in your life.
In order to grow, to learn, to not stay stagnant/stuck; step into the challenge/learning zone. This is where the learning and growth take place.
I look forward to hearing about your experience too if you may care to share.
Hi Camilla! Great article! I was drawn to the following sentence: "I wonder if it’s possible to feel gratitude for the challenges as they unfold, as I know that’s where I grow."
My answer would be a resounding Yes! After I quit a job from burnout, it catalyzed my spiritual awakening. Now I understand that if that burnout didn't happen, I would not be here in this present moment loving myself and my life.
If I had continued on with a predictable present and future, I would not be here grateful for all the unexpected blessings that have come my way by leaping into the unknown multiple times. When you take the leap, the Universe does indeed catch you. However, how you view that net will affect how you land. If you view the net as not big enough or good enough, then you will continue to stay in a reality filled with lack and scarcity. However, if you view every net as a co-creation between you and the Universe, the net becomes an opportunity to pursue what you've always wanted to pursue. In my case, it was writing. Had I stayed in my old job, I don't think I would be writing in the way I am now.
So, for me, I am grateful for the challenges, which are opportunities for soul growth and expansion. Thank you, Universe!
Thank you, Camilla, for a great article that allows me to reflect with gratitude on my trials in life that have led to my biggest breakthroughs!
Hi Camilla,
Such a really lovely post and an invitation to think/explore/reconsider/shift/open/embrace (both the obstacles and all the rest).
Your words and thoughts here have me thinking and reflecting on lots of little moments of how we each approach our learning and growth (often into and/or because of the obstacles we may encounter).
I had a professor in graduate school who began each class with a visual reminder (she projected a slide) that included a safe/comfortable learning zone graph you mentioned. It was initially unexpected, and I wondered about what was ahead of us to need to remind us of that... Yet soon enough I found it to be both calming and grounding, and it also served as a reminder that we each have a choice and a responsibility to consider what and how we share and when and how we speak to one another, meaning, a responsibility to ourselves and to one another (at least that is what I imagined/understood it to mean). It was essential for framing the discussions to come (and setting a gentle, kinder tone) for some often uncomfortable topics that the course engaged with.
In another course (Diversity in Organizations; often a charged, or rather, a highly emotional and layered topic, especially here in the U.S.), the instructor (also female) began each class by revisiting key terms to again (I think) help gently ground the conversation, one of which was non-closure, meaning, we are just beginning to explore these topics/issues/concerns and that the conversation is ongoing and continues well beyond the classroom. For me, embracing non-closure is a key piece of practicing awareness, acceptance, and letting go. It is easier said than done of course. It also reminds us that our focus is often more fruitfully placed on and within the questions, as opposed to focusing solely on (or solving for) answers (which are often fluid and ever-changing, and of course very different for each of us). Incidentally, that instructor also began the class with a 5 minute meditation practice--such a lovely way to begin and invite the practice of learning and discourse. I appreciate it all much more now then I did back then. 🤓🙏🧘♀️
I rambled on a bit above, but your words reminded me of the very different approaches we all take towards cultivating learning/growth etc., and the beauty that emerges when both the masculine and the feminine sense of inquiry and exploration are present, together, in harmony. ✨☯️♾️☮️✨
Oh, and I just ordered a copy of your book--really looking forward to spending some time with it and practicing/learning/unlearning.
🧘♀️🪷🌞✨