I MAY BE WRONG

and other little wisdoms

Good morning beloved reader, and welcome new subscribers!

For longer-term readers, you may remember this post I wrote last month about the Thai Forest Buddhist monastery across the road from us here in Southern New Hampshire, and how we went to hear one of their visiting luminaries called Ajahn Jayasaro:

To Reincarnate or Not to Reincarnate?

I was beyond delighted when Beth Kempton — the author of The Way of the Fearless Writer and whose 7-week class, River of Words, I’m enjoying tremendously — commented on my post and asked if I’d read the book, I May be Wrong by Bjorn Natthiko Lindeblad. She said that this book is where she first heard of Ajahn Jayasaro's teachings, and that she still thinks about them now.

And I just have to pause and say that this is what I most adore about writing (and any kind of art and creativity): how it brightens the connections between us.

Perhaps not surprisingly, I loved reading this book about about this Swedish man who ordained in the same tradition as our neighbors.

Spoiler alert: if you want to read this book and you want to be completely surprised, please save this for later to read. For me, as a reader of creative nonfiction, I’m happy to read the end of a book of before I read all the way through. I inherited this ‘terrible’ 😉😝🤭 habit from my mother. So if this feels like sacrilege to you, come back to this post after you read the book.

When he was 31 years old, Natthiko ordained as a Forest monk in Thailand in 1991. Nearly 17 years later he disrobed at the age of 47. From what I’ve read in his book and in news interviews with him, he surprised himself by disrobing as he thought he would be a ‘lifer.’

After disrobing he got depressed, had suicidal thoughts, but he got happy again when he began teaching meditation retreats; in essence, from my perspective, he connected with his dharma (for newer readers, this is the Hindu definition of the word dharma that I dive into in Chapter 15. The Bhagavad Gita, New Hampshire, April 2013.) Natthiko then met a woman and fell in love and married, and it sounds like he was living happily for around ten years, but then was diagnosed with ALS, and died by euthanasia at the age of 60. Dying by euthanasia is a whole subject for discussion in itself. However I just want to share a few gems from his book.

Everyone in the room, monks and congregants, was paying rapt attention. Ajahn Jayasaro is a skilled speaker and on this particular night he unexpectedly began by saying:

“Tonight, I want to give you a magic mantra.’

We were all taken aback. The forest tradition is known for rejecting anything to do with magic and mysticism. It sees no value in such things. Ajahn Jayasaro calmly continued.

“The next time you sense a conflict brewing, when you feel things are about to come to a head with someone, just repeat this mantra to yourself three times, sincerely and convincingly — in any language you want — and your worries will evaporate, like dew from the grass on a summer morning.”

He had all of us in the palm of his hand. The silence was absolute and every ear strained to hear his next words. He leaned forward slightly, paused for effect and then said: 

“All right are you with me? Here’s the magic mantra:

I may be wrong.
I may be wrong.
I may be wrong.”

~

I laughed out loud when I read this in Natthiko’s book. And it’s worth noting there were several sections in his book that made me laugh, which makes me feel like it will be a book that I will re-read every so often. I deeply value books that share perennial wisdom that help me to navigate life as a spiritual being having a human experience, and while doing so also make me laugh out loud. Perhaps it shows me that the author doesn’t take him ‘self’ or his mind so seriously — perhaps he’s not identified with his ego.

And another section I loved — he wrote the following about how his life was, after he was diagnosed with ALS: (bolding by me)

Play has become increasingly important. Having opinions has become less important. I love the reply Ajahn Chah — the legendary Thai forest monk — gave when he was asked: “What is the biggest obstacle on the road to enlightenment for your western disciples?” Insightfully, in a single word, he replied, “Opinions”.

~

I will freely admit that my younger “self” had VERY strong opinions and was VERY sure she was right. And yes, there are still times when I believe that I simply know I am right😆

But perhaps this is just a part of spiritual and personal growth: we learn that by identifying with our opinions and by identifying with “being right,” it can bring suffering. Both to ourselves, and to others.

The paradoxical other side to this is that when each of us connects with our own Inner Authority, each of us knows what is right for our own ‘self.’ This is in the same vein as trusting your gut. Listening to your intuition. Knowing there is not, ‘only one right way’ of doing and being for everyone, as much as the patriarchy would have us believe there is. And as I have such a strong Inner Patriarch myself, it’s taken me a while to realize this.

And the truth of my own experience shows me that the more we love each other, and the longer-term the relationship is, the more we may unintentionally hurt someone we love. Which brings to mind the beautiful Hawaiian prayer, Ho'oponopono, a tool for healing and reconciliation:

I'm sorry,
Please forgive me,
Thank you,
I love you.

Ho'oponopono, translated from Hawaiian, means 'to make right.' It's a process of bringing harmony with the people in your life, yourself, and the world around you. 

The practice is rooted in the understanding that harmony and balance are essential for your well-being. It’s all about healing and clearing the mind of negative thoughts and feelings, understanding that your experiences and problems reflect your inner state. By addressing and resolving these inner conflicts, you can positively influence your external world.¹

“…understanding that your experiences and problems reflect your inner state” points towards the wisdom of maintaining harmony and equanimity within.

Thanks for reading✨🌟💖🙏🕊️

1. https://www.centreofexcellence.com/what-is-hooponopono