Friday February 24, 2023
Captiva Island
How does a woman, in a patriarchal culture, claim her own spirituality in the world?
For me, this is the question at the heart of The Rising of the Divine Feminine.
And I write to explore this question. Not necessarily to provide answers, but to investigate this question in depth. And perhaps to help myself live in the mystery.
One of the ways I claim my own spirituality in the world is by transforming my experiences into art through creative non-fiction writing. Art, to me, turns up the brightness on connections between us—we get to recognize we’re all spiritual beings having this human experience, including the joy and the pain, and our capacity to learn, and maybe even to have some fun.
~
We were scheduled to fly home yesterday, but because of the storm in America’s North East, we changed our return flight. We’re now scheduled to depart next Tuesday. At first I wasn’t so happy about not being able to get home to my own “nest” as I’ve been away for two months—the longest time I’ve been away from home since we moved to TreeTops in 2011.
And you can read here about my emotional reaction upon our arrival to Captiva. We’ve essentially been “glamping” for the past 4 weeks while facilitating the necessary work after Hurricane Ian to make this house habitable for my elderly in-laws.
And what I’ve come to realize through writing, is that I get to choose where I will focus the light in my narrative. Do I want to focus on the challenging aspects of living in a house while it’s being repaired, or do I want to shine the light on the beauty and wonder I experience through the surrounding nature and wildlife? Or maybe both?
Yesterday Jamie and I washed the picture windows here in my in-law’s living room and we’re now reaping the benefits: we sit here in the mornings, drinking coffee and observing the ocean and wildlife. This morning, as we looked through these picture windows, I couldn’t help but think that in one respect, windows are just like screens. We spend so much time looking at screens on laptops, iPhones, iPads, TVs. Windows and screens allow us to look into the world: with windows we usually just observe, but with screens, sometimes we connect with others through WiFi and the internet.
But it’s through these windows that I have been astonished by the wildlife in this area. So far, we’ve enjoyed two visits from a bald eagle. It sat up high on a branch of an Australian pine tree about forty feet away, and looked in at us through the window. Its majesty thrilled me. It was as though it held the balance of being of the Earth but not in it. As though somehow I could learn from it, to see opportunities and snatch them as they arise—it swooped down to the sand, picked up a stick in its beak and took flight while simultaneously swapping the stick from its beak to its talons. I had a sense it embodied a mystical power with which I wanted to energetically join, as though it was a symbol for the soul, the spirit, and the warmth of life.
On Wednesday, amidst the sun’s golden, orangey hues as it set over the ocean, we were blessed by another wildlife spectacle: dolphins jumping up high out of the water. Whenever I’ve been lucky enough to see dolphins, they always evoke in me a sense of playful freedom as they seem to express the simple joy of being alive. Just the sight of them made me feel like it’s time to breathe some new life into myself. To get outside, to play, to explore, and most of all to breathe. I watched for maybe ten minutes, before I was even more astonished…
(I couldn’t resist sharing this stock photo)
…as the dolphins swam and surfed, it appeared they now played with another kind of oceanic mammal: a whale. At first I wasn’t sure it was a whale, but it repeatedly blew air out of its blowhole, spraying droplets of water up and out that glistened in the setting sun. It flapped its fins around, up and down, back and forth, while it swam among the dolphins.
Again I thought of the creative force of the breath. In interfaith seminary I gained the awareness of how we often think that is it us who breathes, but have you ever considered that we are breathed by the Divine Beloved?
I remember the whale’s ability to create sound and song, and I wonder if it can teach me this, and by drawing upon my own creative instincts, to sing forth my own song. And I remember the whale’s ability to breach and come completely out of the water, which makes me wonder if I’m keeping everything inside and afraid to let it out? And that maybe it is time to breach. To show the magnificence and power of one’s own creativity. To not hold back.
I would like to give credit to Ted Andrews and his book Animal Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great and Small, which taught me how to see the spiritual and energetic aspects of wildlife.
I love that book, Camilla! I'm just learning about you so I apologize for questions you've no doubt answered elsewhere. How do you like living in FL?
The Destin area was on my very short-list for a while. I need to get back to the beach, I feel closest to my true nature on/in/near the water. Salt water in particular!!
Love to connect to you Camilla through your writing and the way you see the world. It is always a pleasure.