Giving Yourself Permission to BE WHO YOU ARE

A Sunday Short-Post on Saturday😆

Hello beloved reader!

I’m a big fan of fellow Australian

Michael Edward

’s writing at

The Curious Platypus

. One of the aspects I love most about Michael’s writing is how he shines the light on the paradoxical nature of the human condition. In his most recent post, he wrote about “the yin and the yang” of writing on Substack:

…It’s been good because I’ve made connections with a bunch of kind, thoughtful, and interesting people all of whom write their own incredibly engaging and enjoyable pieces. It’s been bad because my self-doubt pushes me to compare my writing to theirs as if this is actually some sort of competition.

What Michael refers to as “self-doubt” is perhaps what I call the Inner Critic, and it’s when my own Inner Critic is activated that I’m also driven to compare. And it’s true: comparison is a byproduct of competition. Ego wanting to be “the best.” Ego thinking either, I’m superior or I’m inferior to another. Comparison leads to ranking in the hierarchy. On Substack, the areas where I can make myself feel better or worse by comparison include: the number of subscribers, how many hearts, how much engagement in the comments?

I’m reminded of that line in the movie, As Good As It Gets, where Jack Nicholson’s character Melvin is asked to look after his neighbor’s small dog Verdell. At one point Melvin has to leave Verdell at the vet and he tells them, “Put him in the cage with that smaller dog — it’ll be good for his confidence.” This gets us to laugh at the human condition — our tendency to compare and feel better, more confident, if we rank higher than another. And laughter is a dividend of forgiveness, as I explore in my article, Funny Is the New Deep. When we engage in humor, we forgive our flawed humanity.

But this begs the question: can we feel that inner confidence without comparison?

To simply know our own value?

With writing and with life, my intention is to practice mindfulness and to not unconsciously compare myself or my writing to others. There will always be other writers offering their own gifts (and challenges) that are different from what I offer. My intention is to practice valuing each unique offering — both theirs and my own.

Why aren’t we taught at school how to simply be unapologetically who we are; to appreciate and value ourselves and each other for the unique gifts we all have to offer? To allow the human experience to unfold in all of its depth and beauty.

Does a rose compare itself to another rose and think, “I am more beautiful”? Each rose has its own beauty.

I remind myself to be aware of the compare. Comparing engages ego. Perhaps I’m more interested in engaging soul; and remembering to:

Have confidence in one’s own value in the world.

And I will leave you, my dear reader, with these beautiful words from the author, Laura Munson:

GIVING MYSELF PERMISSION

All along the way, I’ve made this pact to myself: I give myself permission to be exactly who I am in life…and on the page. 

I promise to know the woman that I am. 

And I promise to know the message that runs through everything I write. 

And with this unshakeable intention, I’ve found the industry people, mentors, and readers who are a match for my work. 

That’s what writers are looking for: their match. 

Their emotional, intellectual, and, where applicable, spiritual match.

~

May all of us writers and readers here on Substack find our match!

and

May our art brighten the connections between us!✨🌟💖🙏🕊️