Criticism

The External Critic, the Inner Critic, Perfectionism, Acceptance, Transparency, and Observing our Humanity from our Divinity (also known as Witness Consciousness)

Good morning beloved reader,

I want to share with you the liberating and freeing power in the Eleanor Roosevelt quote:

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway.”

When I first read this quote, I thought it was self-defeating. But when I investigated and dug deeper, I understood its beauty. We’re often stopped from living our dharma, not only by fear of external criticism, but also because of the effect of our own Inner Critic. And perhaps this is especially true for women who have grown up in a patriarchal culture, as our Inner Critics have been fashioned by the forces at work within the patriarchy.

It took me two years in interfaith seminary to cultivate the courage to live my dharma and, in Rev. Dr. Stephanie Rutt’s words, to “Invite your Inner Critic to go sit on the couch,” or in my 86-year-old mother’s words, “Tell the Inner Critic to fuck off!” The latter of which still makes me chuckle.

But perhaps there is a reason why my Australian mother’s words embodied so much vehemence. I experienced so much more misogyny in the Australian workforce and culture, than I ever experienced working in New York City for 20 years. And as our Inner Critics are partly fashioned by the culture in which we live, it makes sense to me that my mother — having grown up, been educated, and worked in Australia — would have had to learn how to deal vehemently with her own Inner Critic.

~

When we investigate “Who am I?” and “How am I a product of my conditioning, culture, and experience?” it can also be fruitful to look at, “how am I a product of my generation?”

Generations defined by name, birth year, and ages in 2023:

source: https://www.beresfordresearch.com/age-range-by-generation/

I’m Gen X, but I love hearing younger generations use the expression,

“You do you, I’ll do me.”

This expression reflects radical self-acceptance. And mastery in the practice of accepting both self and others. It shines the light on the fact that there is no need to “other” other people. It rejects the need to alienate or project one’s shadow onto others. Perhaps it points towards younger generations being an effective force in stewarding our planet into the era of Conscious Balance. 

This kind of radical acceptance also alleviates the patriarchal need for perfectionism. Or to put it another way with plenty of alliteration:😁

Radical acceptance counters the perfectionism perpetuated by the patriarchy, particularly directed at women, promoting an unrealistic ideal.

The patriarchy has conditioned women to pursue this notion of perfection that prioritizes a false image of a woman — the "Stepford Wife" being an extreme example. This kind of conditioning, often subtly reinforced through dominant Abrahamic religions, confines women to conform to this fabricated version, rather than simply being able to show up authentically and enjoy oneself.

By subtly conditioning women that they should be this spurious version of what the patriarchy dictates a woman should be, it ultimately was about controlling women within patriarchal structures.

But a beautiful antidote to this kind of patriarchal perfectionism is the deeply liberating knowledge that “I am enough.”

~

A recent New York Times article (this is a gift link, so anyone should be able to read it) shines the light on how Harvard University is governed by the Harvard Corporation which was incorporated in the 1600s and claims to be the oldest corporation in the western hemisphere. The criticism is that this governing body has been secretive for far too long and they are now being asked for more transparency. Perhaps this criticism of their opacity is another aspect of crumbling patriarchal hierarchies.

The old patriarchal ways were about controlling others by keeping information secret.

Whereas the Rising and re-claiming of the Divine Feminine is about collaboration and sharing information. Perhaps this is especially well understood by Substack readers: the most popular/most-read post for this Substack this year was: Collaboration versus Competition on Substack.

Perhaps collaboration and sharing information is a vital aspect of saving our planet from global climate change.

Nine years ago I posted on Facebook a quote from the Sufi mystic author, Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee:

Although there is a growing spiritual awareness of oneness, and how humanity is a part of an interconnected ecosystem, there is still a sense of spiritual practice having an individual focus — that it is about our individual well-being. We have yet to fully embrace the awareness that spiritually we are all interconnected and that our spiritual practice belongs to life itself — nothing is separate. Our spiritual practice affects and is affected by the inner and outer state of the world. And AT THIS TIME OF GLOBAL CRISIS THAT WE CALL CLIMATE CHANGE, THERE IS AN URGENCY FOR OUR ATTENTION BOTH PHYSICALLY AND SPIRITUALLY TO BE DIRECTED TOWARDS MOTHER EARTH AND HER REAL NEEDS.

We are now living in a time where, through enduring a global pandemic, we learned the positive effects on the planet when humanity stays still.

The COVID-19 pandemic and resulting limitations on travel and other economic sectors by countries around the globe drastically decreased air pollution and greenhouse gas emissions within just a few weeks. That sudden change gave scientists an unprecedented view of results that would take regulations years to achieve.

(https://climate.nasa.gov/news/3129/emission-reductions-from-pandemic-had-unexpected-effects-on-atmosphere/)

During lockdown, air pollution worldwide was significantly reduced. From certain towns in India, the Himalayan mountains could be seen where they are normally not able to be seen. The Venice Canals cleared up. Many rare and critically endangered species of wildlife were spotted in different parts of the world. We often seem to forget that humans are not the only thing that makes up the earth. (https://bigcatsindia.com/positive-effects-of-lockdown-on-mother-nature/)

~

Between climate change, a territorial war between Russia and Ukraine, a religious war between Israel and Hamas, and other world issues, perhaps humanity is at a tipping point of a major evolution of consciousness.

Perhaps what may help to save our planet, and our human race, is the practice of observing our humanity from our divinity: to STOP the polarizing habit of taking binary sides. In line with this concept, I want to offer this quote from Rabbi Rami Shapiro (also known as a “Holy Rascal”)

I watched a video of an Israeli mother clutching her baby to her chest as she ran for shelter while Hamas bombed her neighborhood in Ashkelon. I watched a video of a Palestinian mother clutching her baby to her chest as she ran for shelter while the IDF bombed her neighborhood in Gaza. If not for the labels on the screen telling me who was who, I could not tell these women and their babies apart.

There are those who insist that because I’m a Jew, I must choose to care for the first rather than the second. There are those who insist that because they are Palestinian, or because they count themselves (but not Jews!) among the marginalized, they must choose to care for the second rather than the first. This is a false and wicked choice rooted in what Albert Einstein called a delusion of consciousness that creates a zero-sum world of “us” against “them,” perpetuated by ideologies and religions that sanctify martyrs and celebrate murderers, that divide people into chosen and not chosen, saved and damned, believers and infidels, high caste and low, and that promote the oppression and even genocide of whomever is deemed “other.”

As a Jew I stand in solidarity with my people; I share their suffering and grief, and their rage at Hamas, a terror organization whose self-stated mission is the destruction of the State of Israel and the extermination of Jews. As a human, I also stand in solidarity with innocent Palestinians; I share their suffering and grief, and their rage over the injustices inflicted upon them by Israel, Iran, and so many Arab countries who exploit their suffering rather than end it.

But none of this excuses Hamas slaughtering innocents, beheading babies, and kidnapping civilians. None of this mitigates Hamas using innocent Gazans as human shields, and none of this should blind Palestinians to what Hamas is doing to their sons: stripping them of their souls and reducing them to homicidal monsters. You don’t have to love Israel to hate Hamas; you only have to love your own children.

Just because I want justice for Palestinians doesn’t mean I must justify the evil committed in their name. On the contrary! Because I want justice for Palestinians, I must denounce such evil and those who perpetrate it, and I expect you to do the same.

If you want to choose a side, side with the mothers clutching their babies and running for shelter. If you want to choose a worldview, choose the nonzero world of “all of us together.” Any other choice perpetuates the trauma and brutality we call human civilization.

And a post script: as I have been experimenting with the way that Chat GPT can summarize an article, I typed in “Summarize:” then copied and pasted in Rabbi Rami Shapiro’s quote, and it came back with this:

The passage emphasizes the tragic similarity between Israeli and Palestinian mothers fleeing bombing attacks, highlighting the shared humanity in their experiences. 

It rejects the divisive notion that one must choose sides based on identity or nationality, stressing that such divisions perpetuate conflict. 

The author, identifying as Jewish, expresses solidarity with both Israelis and innocent Palestinians, condemning violence committed by Hamas while acknowledging injustices inflicted upon Palestinians by various entities, including Israel. 

The focus remains on denouncing evil acts, standing for justice, and advocating a worldview that promotes unity rather than perpetuating the cycle of trauma and brutality inherent in conflicts. 

The central message urges siding with the shared human experience rather than divisive affiliations.

Kind of amazing.