Wednesday March 15, 2023, at TreeTops, our decades old log cabin in the Monadnock Region of Southern New Hampshire.
Yesterday, a snow storm brought us 32 inches/81 cm of snow. Let alone the excitement factor of this much snow, I also feel unbelievably blessed and grateful to have all of our physiological needs met: we have food, water, warmth, shelter, clean air, and rest. And going up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, we also have our safety needs met: this includes feeling physically safe in your environment, feeling healthy, that you have enough money and supplies to keep you alive and well. The next level is needs of love and belonging. People need to feel love, and they need to feel they belong—this feeling of belonging may occur in partnerships, and it can also occur in communities.
And just as a Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs refresher: Level 4 is Self-esteem. To have esteem, you need to be confident in yourself, and this also often includes feeling valued by others. Level 5 is Self-actualization, which is about a person having the opportunity to use their gifts, and a chance to go where those gifts might lead. The last level, 6, is Transcendence: giving oneself to something beyond oneself—for example, in altruism or spirituality. This was a later addition to Maslow’s ideas, and it leads me to investigate and explore the issue of interconnectivity of human beings.
My ego would love to claim credit for all of who I am in this human form, but the reality is that I am an amalgamation of an infinite variety of influences and forces outside of myself. We’re all born with our own unique “soul print.” Many of us use a variety of pointers to help reveal the essence of our soul. For example astrology points us towards where the planets were at the moment of our birth, and by using the specific time and place of our birth, an astrologer can use our birth chart to shine the light on our gifts and challenges available to us this lifetime. In corporate settings, the Myers Briggs Type Indicator or Cliffton Strengths may serve a similar purpose.
And it is the other human beings in our communities—community we may experience in our family of origin, family we may have married into, family we may have created; community in our place of work; in groups that share interests, like a spiritual community, etc—it’s these communities that form the crucible where our soul potential can be recognized and developed.
But communities also have a shadow side.
As our human tendency is to want to project our shadow onto others, to not own our own “muck”—even though like the lotus flower, we blossom because of, not in spite of our muck—but as our culture has been dominated by a religion that doesn’t allow for the yin and the yang, the light and the shadow, the gifts and the challenges, all within each and every human being, we’ve developed a tendency to project our “muck” onto others.
In other words (no pun intended) as human beings we have a tendency to “other” other human beings. Especially when we’re triggered. It’s their fault I feel this way.
But as Dr. Gabor Mate helped me to understand, “When you’re triggered, you’re experiencing a wound, and you have a chance to heal it.”
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Perhaps for many, when we don’t feel that we’re enough, it’s just too hard to own our muck.
But when we find a community where we have the space, where we feel held, to be all of who we are, including our muck; then like the lotus flower, we have the space to blossom.
And through this highest experience of community, we realize our interconnectedness.
We bring forth our gifts into physical form only through being supported by this highest expression of community. And we all do this for each other.
But we must remember that when we feel shamed, or judged for even having any “muck,” this is not a healthy, wholesome community.
I have a sense that in these times, we will need community now more than ever. And by cultivating our own capacity to own our individual muck (also called the shadow by some) we may bring forth the highest aspects of community.
Love the picture of you adorable place, and thank you for sharing. From this gypsy who is currently housesitting and sheltering from snow here in Sante Fe, i am grateful for the reminder of the importance of healing those wounds that trigger us. I can be a loner and it is more and more apparent to me that it is only in relationship to others, when i am engaged in community whether in person or on line that the possibility for such growth and healing exists 💜
"We bring forth our gifts into physical form only through being supported by this highest expression of community. And we all do this for each other."
Love the notion of being held by community and given the room to blossom, to bring forth our gifts. This was my profound experience in Gateless. I miss you and our pod mates. It was community that allowed us to soar. And you're still soaring! TreeTops looks amazing, nestled comfortably in nature and beauty. Virtual hugs.