Chapter 14. New York City, November 2010, Choices

Tuesday May 2, 2023

Good morning Beloved Reader,

One of the things I love most about writing memoir is the way it can offer healing. 

Before my father died a year ago, at a beautiful old age of 86, I had shared with him a part of my memoir where I had written about him. There is one particular scene in Part Two where I write about how I was intending to drop out of university in Newcastle (Australia)—a three hour drive North of Sydney—so that I could be with Jamie in Sydney. My father took me out to lunch and helped me to look at the long-term perspective. At first I was resistant to what he said, but I ended up finishing out the year at Newcastle University, and in retrospect I’m so glad I did. 

In 2019 I emailed him that scene I had written. He told me that reading it brought tears to his eyes. And he was an upperclass Englishman who did not cry.

For me, it was a beautiful moment of heart-to-heart connection with him that felt healing.

Another example is when I’m about to publish a chapte…