First, a short note in celebration of our seasonal cycles of:
the Fall Equinox in the Northern Hemisphere🌰🍂🧡🍁🌾
and the Spring Equinox in the Southern Hemisphere🌼🌷🌈🌺🪷💕☀️🌿
Many blessings to you✨🌟💖🙏🕊️
Hello beloved reader,
I continue to write the book presently flowing through me, but I also felt called to share this with you now.
The older I get, the more I can see how much of a misfit I am in “regular” culture. When I was younger maybe I was good at “passing” for “normal” whatever normal is. I’ve heard it said that ‘normal is just a number,’ which rings true to me. “Normal” being what the majority of people do. But who wants to do what everyone else is doing anyway?
As a kid, I didn’t know that the kind of sensitivity I experienced was not experienced by everyone. You only learn this kind of thing as you get older and you begin to understand that we all experience the world in different ways. Once I learned about the term HSP — Highly Sensitive Person1 — I had a label for what I experience as both a gift and a challenge. I also better understood why I need to protect myself from all the energy whizzing around in the world, so that I can best maintain equanimity.
But in reflection, one thing I know I was good at during my 20s, 30s, and early 40s, was surrounding myself in my work with people I enjoyed and who enjoyed me. I remember going to a vocational guidance counsellor at the age of 16 who identified my strengths in communication. I still remember now what I wrote down about what I wanted in a work situation:
A place where I could work with people I enjoyed and they enjoyed me.
Work that was enjoyable, interesting, and satisfying.
To be paid well for the work I did.
Recently, through immersing myself in K.M. Weiland’s work, in particular her book, Writing Archetypal Character Arcs: The Hero's Journey and Beyond, and in Hazel Gale’s gender-neutral names for these archetypal character arcs (you may read my post about this here) I realized that if I was to make myself into a character in a story (as one does in writing memoir), my time in corporate life coincided with the archetypal journeys through the Warrior and Luminary character arcs. I left corporate life at the age of 44, and the Luminary is the first character arc in the second half of life and represents individuals who have moved beyond self-focused growth and are integrated into their communities as leaders, guides, parents, or mentors.
This is what writing has become for me, and I’m so grateful for you, my dear reader, as part of this community. After twenty years in corporate life, I went through two years of interfaith seminary, worked as a guide for another who took the journey through interfaith seminary, and earned an MFA in creative nonfiction writing. Perhaps my soul planned all of this before I was born — with this most recent chapter of my journey allowing me to share spiritual principles and be a guide, through sharing my writing.
I recently read in the book, The Invisible Garment: 30 Spiritual Principles That Weave the Fabric of Human Life by Connie Kaplan, that this is my ‘life purpose':
With your Sun in the principle of Flowering, we know that the main purpose of your incarnation is evolution. You took this incarnation in order to evolve yourself and the species.
This rings true to me and also shines light on why I resonate with the Alchemist archetype which is all about evolution and transformation too.
And the fact that a Thai Forest Buddhist monastery took root across the road just as we were missing a local community and considering moving back to the city; it’s as though our souls gave us a pointer we could not ignore. Like we were being told, ‘you’re having this human experience as a spiritual being to learn more about spiritual growth.’ Sometimes I feel like you couldn’t make this stuff up. I have a part to play in sharing spiritual principles and supporting spiritual growth, versus a focus on only material growth.
I will turn 60 in 2027, which means I’m approaching the end of the Sovereign archetypal character arc: the Sovereign must accept and adapt to the inevitable changes that come with their journey, recognizing that true growth, wisdom, and strength come from letting go of past achievements and embracing new perspectives and transformation. This acceptance leads to wisdom and a deeper understanding of life's meaning, marking the transition from Sovereign to Seer.
Perhaps a key to moving through the archetypal journeys in life is to remember the importance of letting go of what we once had, remembering that everything changes, and how important it is to be grateful for what we have right now. Noticing and appreciating.
Perhaps that’s what so much of the journey of aging is about: not clinging.
Our Buddhist monk neighbors talk a lot about that: the human tendency towards clinging to the pleasurable experiences and feeling aversion towards painful experiences.
I have one memory of sitting at my desk in my office at Penguin Books for Young Readers. At that time, our offices were at 345 Hudson Street — just below Houston Street, so technically in SoHo (South of Houston). We were on the 14th floor and my small office had a window that looked out over the Hudson River. My “L” shaped desk partially faced the window, and on January 15, 2009, I actually saw the plane make an emergency landing onto the Hudson river, that we all later learned was piloted by Captain Sullenberger. I am still amazed that all 155 people on board survived, though many were injured.
I loved that office at Penguin with its view out over the Hudson River. But I remember thinking, this is such a happy situation; I enjoy my work, I enjoy the people and they enjoy me; and the salary is enough. But that means the only way to go is down.
And I felt complete aversion to this thought that arose.
So even though things were good, I caused myself to suffer! Such is the human condition.
These days it makes me happy to contemplate the idea of how I so often
cling to pleasurable experiences and
feel aversion to painful experiences,
and I’ve learned that if I can just accept what is, I stop causing myself unnecessary suffering.
“IT’S LIKE THIS.”
—said by Luang Por Sumedho and engraved on a stone
at the Temple Forest Monastery across the road
Thank you for reading!
The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron Ph.D., was published in 1996 by Citadel Press/Penguin Random House, and a 25th anniversary edition was published in 2020.
The HSP book changed my life too, Camilla. I’ve been thinking about ‘not clinging’ this week and your post felt synchronistic. Thank you!
Thank you for an interesting post. I like reading well-written accounts of people's journeys in their search for meaning and purpose in life, for growth in consciousness. I also quit my job (engineer turned academic) at the age of 44, though that was back in 2000. I wanted to do somethig more interesting with my life - and also wanted to discover if their was anything truly original in me. I was driven by Logon:70 in the Gospel of Thomas "If you bring forth that which is within you, it will give you life. If you do not bring forth that which is within you, it will kill you". A stark choice.
I'm a bit equivocal about finding an "it" in life, a "thing-in-life", because 'vocation' is easily squashed into 'career'; these are two very different animals. Those who manage to bring the two together are greatly blessed. Some 'vocations' are perhaps to become truly satisfied with the daily journey, and let go of goal-achievement. Hmmm, not easy.
Anyway I wish you all the best with you book-writing project. I'm sure it needs to be 'brought forth' to the world like I feel deep need to bring forth creative/artistic projects - and then one has to "let the right thing do itself".